Abandoning Process

This summer has been a blur.  (My favorite kind of painting, blurry.)  I feel like I have been in a frantic state for  a while, always in a frig-in' rush.  I forget that I am not living by the bell anymore, but old habits die hard.  All I can think is, I need to get to the studio and this mind set has seeped into my paintings.  This summer I started 3 30"x24" paintings, that I have not finished.  Now, not everything gets resolved, but for me this is a high number in one series. 

I started them with abandon, not a lot of conscious thought.  I have been consumed with experimentation, process and am getting no where.   

"Stretch One", 30"x24"
  It doesn't look like this anymore and I changed it a lot and I am not sure it's a good thing.  I am ignoring the pain. I can't even post what it looks like now.  Maybe someday...

"Stretch Two"
This one is more resolved for me.

"Stretch Three" 30"x24"
They all kinda looked like this in the beginning.  The Drippy White Series.

This was "Stretch Three" now it's is called "Employed Cruising." 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Anyway, you get the idea.

I want to abandon these for now.   This is unusual for me, because I usually will grind a painting into the ground before letting go.  I feel free writing this.  Tra, la, la!

What I am doing now...
So, on the side, not really thinking too much about it, I started preparing some small canvases.  It started out as a meditative process.  Also, it was something I could control when what I was painting was so out of control.  I took an unusually long time sanding and gesso-ing surfaces, trying to obliterate the weave of the canvas. 

Things are going to get surreal.  I have had these funny little images popping up in my head. Which is an old way of working for me, instead of waiting to see what happens on the canvas,  I picture it first.  I am working slower, with less process and experimentation.